Marital rape

Source: Marital rape

Source: Marital rape


Domestic Abuse Awareness, (my story)

As we all know October is domestic abuse awareness. . It has been three years since I have been free from my past abuse.

I know I am a survivor and I am a strong woman and no one will ever abuse me again.  I have let go and forgiven my past . There will always be a memory of my past inside me, whether it’s a dream of my abusers , something someone says that triggers or even something on television. I know they are only memories that will keep me strong.

Here is my testimony

I have been a victim of abuse sexually , physically and mentally since early childhood years. As a child I was sexually abused a family member. . I learn to hide in closets or wherever to hide when alone feeling shamed..

At 19 years old I graduated from high school . I moved in with my first (love). Stayed with him for 12 years in all. This man was a drinker and tend to be mentally abusive to me. For a short time I started to drink just to cope with issues that bothered me and to fit in his lifestyle. Working two jobs and supporting him and drinking habit became stressful as we fought a lot. I quit drinking when I realized that drinking was becoming a habit. After six years I had my firstborn and seen the true side of where things stood between us. He made it clear he did not want to be a dad. I suffered My first nervous breakdown in the December of 1997 just after my daughter also became a 4 year old sex abuse victim by her father’s friend. In 1998 I had my second child (unplanned pregnancy) and still no change of their father’s drinking and arguing with me. I had two more breakdowns and became agoraphobic hiding pain inside..

When I finally grew the courage, I left this man to go into another burning trap. I met my soon to be ex husband when my youngest was five months old… 14 more years of abuse that was worse than the other because he was also a very abusive drunk. I was beaten, had knives put to my throat, and sexually assaulted on many occasions ( forced anal sex). Hiding from the shame of abuse and hurt became a part of my life. Isolating me and my babies from people so they never would see the truth and judge me for it. Suffering with agoraphobia, ptsd , anxiety and depression, I have been in and out of mental hospitals through these years; I never told doctors or therapist my life at home.. In March 2012 I suffered the last abuse, betrayed by raped ( including sodemy) by the hands of my husband. I couldn’t’t take anymore hurt and felt my children deserved a stronger mom as they became more and more aware of my abuse.I ended the marriage and I finally grew the courage to begin to speak out.

I now dedicate myself to reach out and continue telling my abuse as it helps me just by knowing I can make a difference in others situations. I don’t care if I change one or a handful of victims to become survivors like I am . I know at times I may still struggle or fall but Jesus will keep catching me when I do..


Abuse in the workplace

I like to take time out to post this for a close friend of mine as I am sure so many people are going through the same as she is now.

Mary is an abuse survivor from her past. She host a radio blog show to continue to use her voice to speak out to other victims. She is an advocate to many and help them become survivors. She has helped me in my past. She is very strong.

Now like many she is going thru another form of abuse every day. She gets up each day to go to work. There she is bullied by her superior and fellow employees, why because of her race. She is belittled and pout down in front of others on a daily basis.

She has no choice to put up with the situation she is because it is her source of income . If she is to walk away now from her job she has no means to pay her living expenses in life.

Mary has called the labor board and did not get much assistance with her situation other than to get a lawyer .

I am sure so many other people have to put up with abuse in the workplace. It’s sad but not mentioned enough in today’s society. These people have families to support, a roof and warm safe place to live and have to keep food on their tables: therefore they continue to have to work and put up with bullying, racial slurs and mentally emotional abuse everyday.

We need to find ways to fight this form of abuse now. Everyone should be able to enjoy their job while earning a living.

Songs for Domestic Violence Survivors to Listen to


1. Roar- Katy Perry

2. Skyscraper- Demi Lovato

3. Better in Time- Leona Lewis

4. Who Says- Selena Gomez

5. Brave- Sara Bareilles

6. King of Anything- Sara Bareilles

7. Don’t Hold Your Breath- Nicole Scherzinger

8. Mr. Know it All- Kelly Clarkson

9. Disaster- JoJo

10. Happy- Leona Lewis

11. Wide Awake- Katy Perry

12. Shake it Out- Florence + the Machine

13. Dog Days are Over- Florence + the Machine

14. Me, Myself & I- Beyonce

15. Survivor- Destiny’s Child

16. Warrior- Demi Lovato

17. The War is Over- Kelly Clarkson

18. A Little Bit Stronger- Sara Evans

19. Lullaby- Nickelback

20. Hold On- Wilson Philips

21. Shadow Days- John Mayer

22. In Repair- John Mayer



If you’re a domestic violence survivor and you’re hanging on by a thread, hold on, You are a SURVIVOR.  There IS light at the end of the tunnel. 



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Child abuse survivors strike back: A reflection on Reflections UK

David Hencke

Jenny tomlin: one of three organisers of the new Reflections  group Jenny tomlin: one of three organisers of the new Reflections group

Yesterday in a community hall in Loughborough a new group  calling itself Reflections UK representing survivors of child abuse  across the UK was born.

It has arisen because many survivors – at first buoyed up by the creation of the over arching child sex abuse independent panel – have been knocked down by its replacement body, the statutory Lowell Goddard inquiry. While there was a populist demand for a statutory inquiry – many don’t seem to have realised that the price of that was to exclude survivors from sitting on it.

There has now been a strong backlash from survivors who believe their voices  have been excluded and they have decided to do something about it. Yesterday’s meeting was the start.

It is a powerful 21st century response to a government trying to find a traditionally 20th century solution to…

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