Protecting our children

Its just about five years since I left an abusive marriage now. My girls are now young adults. They both are dealing with the mental effects of our past. Sometimes I have to convince myself I am not at any fault .
 My oldest daughter is a single mom just getting out of an abusive relationship herself. Her ex still calls and tries to manipulate her and control her life even though he has been in a new relationship. She suffers with severe panic attacks, social anxiety and some depression.
My youngest daughter has suffered with anger issues and has physically caused harm to people. She is now trying to take control of her anger, which is now causing her depression.
The reason why I am writing this is so people can understand domestic violence does make an impact on our children.  Some children grow to be passive and others grow to be aggressive.
Its not us victims of abuse to blame.
So many times I hear well you chose to raise children in that environment. They don’t see it’s not really a choice we willingly make. We live in fear of what the abuser will do if we try to walk away. We are often threaten if we leave to take the children or cause harm to them. They control our every move to make sure we are not able to get out.
 Please if anyone out there is going through domestic violence find help. Talk to a doctor, child’s school anyone and let them know you need help. Nine times out of ten they will listen and send help your way. One lady I advised on an online support group was write a letter to the school principal, let them know what is going on in the home and your in need of help. Put this letter in the child’s school bag with their homework. Or even call and schedule a conference with the teacher, or abuser will only think it’s school related. When you get to the school let them know your home situation they can  help.
 Children our silent victims.


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