Protecting our children

Its just about five years since I left an abusive marriage now. My girls are now young adults. They both are dealing with the mental effects of our past. Sometimes I have to convince myself I am not at any fault .
 My oldest daughter is a single mom just getting out of an abusive relationship herself. Her ex still calls and tries to manipulate her and control her life even though he has been in a new relationship. She suffers with severe panic attacks, social anxiety and some depression.
My youngest daughter has suffered with anger issues and has physically caused harm to people. She is now trying to take control of her anger, which is now causing her depression.
The reason why I am writing this is so people can understand domestic violence does make an impact on our children.  Some children grow to be passive and others grow to be aggressive.
Its not us victims of abuse to blame.
So many times I hear well you chose to raise children in that environment. They don’t see it’s not really a choice we willingly make. We live in fear of what the abuser will do if we try to walk away. We are often threaten if we leave to take the children or cause harm to them. They control our every move to make sure we are not able to get out.
 Please if anyone out there is going through domestic violence find help. Talk to a doctor, child’s school anyone and let them know you need help. Nine times out of ten they will listen and send help your way. One lady I advised on an online support group was write a letter to the school principal, let them know what is going on in the home and your in need of help. Put this letter in the child’s school bag with their homework. Or even call and schedule a conference with the teacher, or abuser will only think it’s school related. When you get to the school let them know your home situation they can  help.
 Children our silent victims.


“Take Back The Night”

I am so proud of my fellow Rome citizens. I grew up in Rome my entire life and I have to say they have really stepped up over the past few years trying to end domestic violence .
Having such community support helps more victims come out and speak out of the abuse they have or are enduring in their relationships. I myself had hid in violence for many years behind my closed doors. I did not speak about it I his in shame. My daughters were forced to live through the mental and emotional effects of my abuse.  In 2012 I finally said I could no longer hide because it has caused much depression, self blame and feeling unworthy as a mother to my girls. I began writing as my way of healing and speaking out to other victims . We are no longer victims we are survivors and conquerors. I will continue to help every victims come out and speak out. No one should ever feel ashamed or alone.

I want to give a personal thanks  to the Rome NY Police Department,  the city of Rome , YWCA and the women fighting to continue the awareness ,for making this event possible.
As long these supporter continue to keep ” Take Back the Night ” awareness for domestic violence going them hundreds of victims in violence will find it easier to become a survivor.


The Donald Henderburg Memorial LAX Foundation and family and friends of Stephanie Morrison sponsored a fundraiser for awareness and raised money for this bench.  Sadly Stephanie Morrison life was taken by a domestic violence act in 2013. The seat of the bench is engraved “Domestic Violence ‘Give It A Rest”