Today I had to sit down and write this post just to clear my mind.
Do you really know who your true friends are? Friends come in so many tpes: there are friends you hold dear to your heart, so are their to prey on your vulnerability and some who call themselves a friend but really don’t stick with you.
I recently found out hard way that friends don’t always show the true meaning. I have a friend that I have known for 19+ years. My best friend, I called her my sister at heart. Our children grew up together, we shared good times as well as bad. We laughed together and cried together. We were inseparable. Until I changed to better myself and became stronger person.
For years I have lived in an abusive marriage with an alcoholic. He was physically and mentally abusive. I ended my marriage three years ago. I then slipped into a severe depression. It seemed just around the same time my friends stopped coming around so that left me alone and scared. Then a friend did start coming around. He promise to help lift me back up. Only later I found that this person only preyed on the vulnerable and weak so I fell deeper into my agoraphobic world. I was scared to leave my home. closed myself in my room coming out very little. My children me just falling apart inside.
I was lost, scared and feeling worthless. I felt I was a failure of a woman and a mother. I was giving up on myself and became mentally and physically sick. It was then when my friend told me I need to stop relying on friends and get over things on my own. I did just that and started getting out more. I pushed through my pain .
I met my now boyfriend, , who has helped me this past two years. He has taught me to love and mostly to love myself again. I could not have done all this on my own. I changed me for the better I am much stronger than I was my entire life, I am a stronger mom and a strong woman. I lost many friends in my life just by growing strong.
If people cant see I have changed for the better which has literally saved my life, the they weren’t my true friends to begin with, sad to say. I am hurt but I have to still keep moving forward in life now. I am not looking back those who choose to follow me in my next journey in life they can follow , if they choose to stay behind I cannot look back. I will always keep doors open I love my friends but most of all I love my life.