Songs for Domestic Violence Survivors to Listen to


1. Roar- Katy Perry

2. Skyscraper- Demi Lovato

3. Better in Time- Leona Lewis

4. Who Says- Selena Gomez

5. Brave- Sara Bareilles

6. King of Anything- Sara Bareilles

7. Don’t Hold Your Breath- Nicole Scherzinger

8. Mr. Know it All- Kelly Clarkson

9. Disaster- JoJo

10. Happy- Leona Lewis

11. Wide Awake- Katy Perry

12. Shake it Out- Florence + the Machine

13. Dog Days are Over- Florence + the Machine

14. Me, Myself & I- Beyonce

15. Survivor- Destiny’s Child

16. Warrior- Demi Lovato

17. The War is Over- Kelly Clarkson

18. A Little Bit Stronger- Sara Evans

19. Lullaby- Nickelback

20. Hold On- Wilson Philips

21. Shadow Days- John Mayer

22. In Repair- John Mayer



If you’re a domestic violence survivor and you’re hanging on by a thread, hold on, You are a SURVIVOR.  There IS light at the end of the tunnel. 



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Child abuse survivors strike back: A reflection on Reflections UK

David Hencke

Jenny tomlin: one of three organisers of the new Reflections  group Jenny tomlin: one of three organisers of the new Reflections group

Yesterday in a community hall in Loughborough a new group  calling itself Reflections UK representing survivors of child abuse  across the UK was born.

It has arisen because many survivors – at first buoyed up by the creation of the over arching child sex abuse independent panel – have been knocked down by its replacement body, the statutory Lowell Goddard inquiry. While there was a populist demand for a statutory inquiry – many don’t seem to have realised that the price of that was to exclude survivors from sitting on it.

There has now been a strong backlash from survivors who believe their voices  have been excluded and they have decided to do something about it. Yesterday’s meeting was the start.

It is a powerful 21st century response to a government trying to find a traditionally 20th century solution to…

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I wrote this during my abused life

Silent tears

They hurt even though no one feels them.

Their there even though no one sees them.

They call for help no one listens.

Silent tears will go away as long as someone endures them.

The truth behind a smile

Pain deep inside

Stories can hide

Crying out but not heard.

Hiding a beating that just occured.

Screams please help me,if only someone sees

Behind a smile a battered soul.

Behind a smile that none knows.

Shining the Light Conference, Nov 6-7, Greenville, S.C.

I hope you don’t mind me sharing this link to my blog.

A Cry For Justice

Our friends Dale and Faith Ingraham, along with Rebecca Davis, have organized a conference on sexual abuse in the church. It will be held on Friday and Saturday, November 6-7, 2015.  I (Jeff C) am planning on attending as well and looking forward to seeing some of our blog followers for the first time.

Here is the link for registration and ticketing.  And this is the link to the Shining the Light Web Page.

As you know, domestic abusers and sexual abusers share many characteristics.

If you can come, it would be really great to get to meet you.

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My Testimony

Today I want to share my testimony with you . I have been a victim of abuse sexually , physically and mentally since early childhood years. As a child I was sexually abused a family member. . I learn to hide in closets or wherever to hide when alone feeling shamed..
At 19 years old I graduated from high school and became a nurse. I moved in with my first (love). Stayed with him for 12 years in all. This man was a drinker and tend to be mentally abusive to me. For a short time I started to drink just to cope with issues that bothered me and to fit in his lifestyle. Working two jobs and supporting him and drinking habit became stressful as we fought a lot. I quit drinking when I realized that drinking was becoming a habit. After six years I had my firstborn and seen the true side of where things stood between us. He made it clear he did not want to be a dad. I suffered My first nervous breakdown in the December of 1997 just after my daughter also became a 4 year old sex abuse victim by her father’s friend. In 1998 I had my second child (unplanned pregnancy) and still no change of their father’s drinking and arguing with me. I had two more breakdowns and became agoraphobic hiding pain inside..
When I finally grew the courage, I left this man to go into another burning trap. I met my soon to be ex husband when my youngest was five months old… 14 more years of abuse that was worse than the other because he was also a very abusive drunk. I was beaten had a knive put to my throat, sexually assaulted on many occasions ( forced anal sex). Hiding from the shame of abuse and hurt became a part of my life. Isolating me and my babies from people so they never would see the truth and judge me for it. Suffering with agoraphobia, ptsd , anxiety and depression, I have been in and out of mental hospitals through these years; I never told doctors or therapist my life at home.. In March 2012 I suffered the last abuse, betrayed by raped ( including sodemy) by the hands of my husband. I couldn’t take anymore hurt and felt my children deserved a stronger mom as they became more and more aware of my abuse.
I knew there was only one way for me to transform my life. I began studying Christian and handed all of my past for Jesus to take from me. I wrote my ebook to inspire other not to live the years of abuse I had lived. I now dedicate myself to reach out and continue telling my abuse as it helps me just by knowing I can make a difference in others situations. I don’t care if I change one or a handful of victims to become survivors like I am . I know at times I may still struggle or fall but Jesus will keep catching me when I do..