Judged By Society

  Being Judged by Society


I have lived for many years with mental illness.  I have had revisited a mental hospital on some occasions to dealing with these illnesses and adjusting medications. My mental illness stems from the abuse I had lived for many years, physically, mentally, emotionally, and sexually.  I have agoraphobia, panic disorders, anxiety, pstd., and depression Through Jesus my conditions are at a stable state now.


Living with such illnesses has been very hard to live with and face society with them. The emotional abuse is one thing I cannot escape from. This seems to follow me a lot not by my past abusers but by society itself.


Allot of people do not understand that mental illness is just that an illness. Society does not see it this way and I feel unjust by many. More people need to understand we do not choose to live the way we have with mental illness and they need to stop judging us.


A lot of time we are judge on a daily basis by the public, family or even by our closes friends. This is emotional abusing us on a continuous level. It’s not a chose we have it is real just as real as many other illness there is out there.


Sometimes even by going to our own physicians or emergency visit at the hospital. They have listed in our records the mental illness we have so as soon as we check in to the office or hospital the immediately see a reflagged patient. I myself have waked into situations like this far too many times. Do I feel with this I get full medical treatment at the time? “No!”  I don’t feel we are treated as other patients who come in. I find this often. Before listening or looking at physical symptoms they look at anxiety cause for symptoms.


Beginning of last year I had went to get medical attention for lower abdominal pain went to emergency room twice for the same symptoms and both times told it was irritable bowel syndrome do to stress and anxiety and dismissed with this diagnosis. The third time I was in more pain so they did do further test. They had found I had suffered pain from uterine and ovary problems that required surgery. If left untreated could cause potential danger. It’s easier to find blaming symptoms on anxiety symptoms this is an unjust suffering in pain do to neglect judgment and abuse to me.


A lot of times friends and family no matter how close they are to you can emotionally hurt you too. Without them sometimes even realizing they are causing you emotional hurt and pain also. When we feel anxious or depressed we tend to try to reach out and need others support to feel better or just to talk. People tend to not want to be bothered by this and put you aside on the back burner per say until you feel better as if we had just burdened their day.


My personal feelings have left me to realize how ignorant society is to mental illnesses. They are too quick to pass judgment .They don’t take the time to listen or try to comfort others.



Our reasons to inspire others


Domestic violence, Physical, emotional and sexual abuse is a tragic epidemic sweeping God’s world today. Not only here in American but all countries.


     Its effecting traditional family morals and values, our children, our community strength, causing money loss to prison the violent perpetrators, by having to expand police and mutual aide responding to each calls, the public assistance budget by aiding single parent household most of all it is effecting our Faith in God and his glory in life.


     Myself I have suffered  abuse for years.  I have hidden the truth in my own feeling of embarrassment and shame.  I have learned to live in isolation just to hide pain. I have been diagnosed with agoraphobia in 1998 and depression with anxiety disorders. I was finding it hard not only to face public but also to face my own family to admit I was being abused. Through my depression I really gave my own will to live and worse I gave up on my faith of the Lord and Jesus Christ as my savior.  I realized in my depression not only was I giving up on me or faith, I was not allowing my children with the moral values children should be raised in.


    My best friend and co-author, Mark here  has also suffered from mental and social abuse for many years as a young child and into his adult years. Lost in his own darkness and depression he began to self-destruct by giving up his own faith . Becoming to be his own abuser. He also suffers from social anxiety and other forms of mental illnesses stemming from his abuse.


We have known each for many years growing as adults, and we never saw we share the same type of painful hurt in our lives. I believe it was Jesus to help us see each other’s pain.  We started to phone call each other to help one and other cope with our painful lives.                                     


I knew inside of me I had to really find a way to reach for Mark’s healing. He lost all faith in believing in Jesus saving him. His inner peace was gone and he was to a point where he believed his presence here on Earth would not really matter to him. I felt his pain because a lot of time I felt like giving up too. I wouldn’t let go of him I knew he needed a friend to change his pain and show him he did have a reason to press on.


Through each other we both have found Jesus and knew God has a purpose for us. We know he put us together to heal each other’s faith and now to inspire others to get pass their own hurt, fears, self-destruction, and depression. We want to share our healing with Jesus and encourage victims they too can find a healing too.


As survivors we want to help victims out there with the faith of the Lord and the knowledge of God’s purpose they too can become survivors too. As survivors speaking out to stop domestic violence and abuse from plaguing God’s world and give back the glory the Lord had created for us to live here on Earth.


Abuse here has to stop and we are the ones who can stop this now. Give our children a better future and bring back the traditional values and morals in life. If we can change abuse and make the children have a stronger faith and inspire them to have faith, respect, love, we will have a much stronger world to live in.