How we become our worst enemy after an abusive relationship;
You are always told that it’s your fault. Somehow, whatever happens, however it starts, the ultimate blame is always yours. Notice that we are talking ultimate blame here. The blaming partner will always tell you that their behavior was caused by what you said or did. In fact, their argument runs along the lines that you can’t possibly blame them for anything, because if you hadn’t said what you said, or done what you did it would never have happened.
Your abuser has told you through years of abuse no one wants a mentally ill person. Always being told you are worthless who wants you, your ugly and can’t find anyone. You begin to believe this and give up on yourself and having happiness anywhere and just continue to stay in the abuse.
When in an abusive relationship you start to blame yourself for the abuse. Thinking maybe you’re just not satisfying your mate. You keep trying harder to meet the person’s satisfaction thinking it would stop his/ her abusive behavior. Self-doubt begins to take a toll mentally and the harder you work the worse you begin to stress yourself esteem more. You feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells just so you won’t start a conflict or fight.
You then later on fear rejection and acceptance from others. Self-esteem is low where you feel even though you’re not being put down or judged. Fear of not saying the right things, not fitting in, and not being good enough.
You begin to develop your our fears even when out of the abusive relationship. Constantly looking over your shoulders in fears of getting hit or attacked again.